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I recently lost my job at a 60,000-circulation paper because I did bad on my 90-day review. I realized that I was kind of over my head when I took the job. Most of my experience was student media and the beat was business.

I made a point to let the editors know my level of experience, but they also didn't offer much support, even after my constant nagging that I felt that I was sinking there.

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Last week, I got more disappointment. I had been on two interviews with a 10,000 circ. During the second interview, I wrote a story and it ran the next day, and the editor gave me lots of praise. I didn't start there because the position got frozen. Last week, she told me a reporter was resigning and she wanted me to come back in and fill out an application. I wrote two stories on that third interview, and she told me she called HR and asked them to fast-track my paperwork. Then she e-mails me the next day and tells me she found holes and inconsistencies, and she's not sure what she wants to do with the job, and I need more training.

I e-mailed her back and asked when I could call so she could tell what I did wrong. I didn't want to make the same mistake twice, plus I'm sure I'm rusty; I haven't been writing. But she hasn't replied back and I'm tempted to just call her if she doesn't respond in a few days. I need to know what happened, where one day she's telling me she wants me working as soon as possible, to I need more training the next day.

I have applied for things like METPRO and been rejected. I am considering applying again and maybe to the Freedom Forum because I'm not sure what else to do outside of finding another profession, which I really don't want to do. I'm not in school anymore, so internships are not really an option either. On top of it all, the market is just really tight right now.

Also, I'm wondering how I can explain my firing to smaller papers, because I don't want to sound like I'm blaming it on other people.

Help, please.

Hitting the wall

I'm sorry to hear all this. You clearly are trying to get things started, work out some of the kinks and start to make an impact, but the challenge is finding the paper that will take a chance on you. One did and it didn't work out, a second was inclined to but appears to have been dissuaded by your work.

Joe Grimm

You're right that an internship is an unlikely path, so the smaller daily seems to be the route to go. You'll have to mention that first paper, and you'll have to say you didn't pass probation. That doesn't sound like blaming. It's just the way it is.

Take what you can learn from that first paper and the tryout paper and try to determine if your shortcomings can be improved -- quickly -- with experience or training. If they seem to be issues of talent rather than training, you might have to confront the matter of whether you're right for journalism or would be better off in another kind of communications.

Good luck. Even if you have the right talents and lack only experience, the state of the market could force you to move to small or out-of-the-way places to get on track.

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Coming Friday: She keeps a general, personal blog that demonstrates she can work online, but she wonders whether the content makes it inappropriate for the job search.

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