First, congratulations to
Tom French and
Kelley Benham on their wedding, which took place at the Poynter Institute on Saturday evening, Oct. 28, yours truly officiating. If Tom and Kelley are blessed with children, I'll go to Las Vegas and lay wagers that they will win Nobel Prizes for literature. Tom has won a Pulitzer, and Kelley an Ernie Pyle Award. The writing genes are strong.
For the last few weeks, I've been teaching a passage from
a Page One story that Tom wrote for the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times. It concerned that violent deaths of two animals at a local zoo: a chimp named Herman and a tiger named Enshalla. The story and photographs covered four inside pages, but it was the first five paragraphs that captured my attention:
Let us pay respect to fallen royalty.
His early life unfolded like something coauthored by Dickens and Darwin. As an infant he was taken from his mother -- he almost certainly saw her die trying to protect him -- then sold in an orange crate for $25 and a thumprint.
He was carried across an ocean, installed inside a cage, taught to depend on the imperfect love of strangers. He charmed Jane Goodall, threw dirt at the mayor of Tampa, learned to blow kisses and smoke cigarettes, whatever it took to entertain the masses. Although he was afforded the sexual privileges conferred by rank, he never chose a mate. He had no interest in females of his own kind. He preferred blonds in tank tops.
He reigned through the death of one zoo and the birth of another. He proved himself a benevolent leader who knew how to keep the peace and observe the social formalities. He was a good listener. He was loyal and forgiving. Looking into his brown eyes, his keepers had no doubt he possessed a soul.
Altogether he lived at Lowry Park Zoo for 35 years. He lasted there longer than any other creature and longer than any of the humans. Each of the 1,800 animals at the zoo is assigned a number. His was 00001.
There is much to admire in this passage, but I appreciate one special effect. Re-read the passage and notice what Tom places at the end of paragraphs. Right next to the white space, you will be rewarded with an important word, phrase or image. Tom recognizes that these are the hot spots in the story, places of special emphasis. So we get:
- "fallen royalty"
- "$25 and a thumbprint"
- "blonds in tank tops"
- "possessed a soul"
- "00001"
There's a tool:
Take advantage of the hot spots in your stories, especially the ends of paragraphs, where words and images get special attention.
As I have witnessed the past years in the online...
