Network Newswriting That’s Snoozewriting

Editor’s note: Merv Block, a former staff writer on the “CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite,” says he usually watches the evening news produced by CBS. But when Brian Williams took over as the new anchor of “NBC Nightly News,” he decided to tune in there for a while. Here’s some of what he found. We imagine that journalists who favor the approach that Block criticizes have their reasons, and we invite them to send their push-back via e-mail or in the feedback form attached to this article.

There’s a persistent problem in the air: there is. What’s the problem? It’s a wordy, wussy, wobbly way to start a script. The subject of a story is not there, and is is a linking verb, which expresses no action. It’s best to lead with a solid noun and a strong verb. Although there is is a dead phrase, some network newscasts rely on it often.

“There is news out of Iraq tonight. A series of deadly attacks across that country today killed as many as 30 people, including two unidentified American soldiers.” (“NBC Nightly News,” Feb. 24, 2005.) Several problems besides there is: no need to say there’s news; it’s a newscast. And news comes from a place, not out of a place.

Also: no need to call the attacks deadly. If they killed so many people, they must have been deadly. Rather, fatal. Deadly means capable of causing death or likely to cause death; fatal describes events that have caused or will cause death.

And no need to say the U.S. soldiers were unidentified. Even if the newsroom had their names, they probably wouldn’t have used them. And why the word tonight in the first sentence, then the shift in the next sentence to today?

“There is new information tonight about William Rehnquist, the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court, who is battling thyroid cancer.” (“NBC Nightly News,” Dec. 10, 2004.)

Some old information for that newswriter: William Rehnquist’s title is Chief Justice of the United States.

No need to announce that the newscast has new information. News is what’s new, so what else would a newscast be peddling? Old information? Slightly used information?

“There is health news to report to you tonight.” (“NBC Nightly News,” Dec. 2, 2004.)

Why tell me you’re going to tell me? Just tell me. Better: “A new study says almost half of all Americans were taking at least one prescription drug.”

“There is history throughout the American South.” (“NBC Nightly News,” Dec. 10, 2004.) Who’d have ever suspected it?

“There is news on the economy tonight. It turns out it grew faster than first thought at the end of last year.” (“NBC Nightly News,” Feb. 25, 2005.) Better: “The U.S. economy grew faster in the last quarter than previously thought.”

“There’s some very good news tonight from off the coast of South Carolina. A young Atlantic right whale that was tangled in fishing gear was freed by rescuers…” (“NBC Nightly News,” Dec. 31, 2004.) Journalism 101 teaches us not to characterize news as good or bad, glad or sad. Don’t tell listeners what to think of the news. Just deliver the news, and let listeners decide for themselves.

“There is sad news tonight in American politics, the death of U.S. Representative Robert Matsui of California.” (“NBC Nightly News,” Sunday, Jan. 2, 2005.) The news is certainly sad for his family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, constituents and admirers. But not for those of us unfamiliar with him.

What is sad is that kind of newswriting. In the “Golden Book on Writing,” David Lambuth writes, “The habit of beginning statements with the impersonal and usually vague there is or there are shoves the really significant verb into subordinate place instead of letting it stand vigorously on its own feet.”

When is the phrase there is defensible? The grammarian Bryan Garner asks that question in his “Modern American Usage” (2003). His answer: “When the writer is addressing the existence of something. That is, if the only real recourse is to use the verb exist, then there is is perfectly fine.” He offers an example: “There is no positive relationship between aid levels and economic growth.”

Let’s look at a few other faulty scripts from the same newsroom.

“There is court news tonight.” (“NBC Nightly News,” Feb. 23, 2005.)

I swear, someone did say that.  

“And there are fresh reports tonight that the U.S. is engaging in a kind of risky business, sending terror suspects to foreign countries for questioning and, it is alleged, for torture…” (“NBC Nightly News,” March 7, 2005.)

Fresh? An NBC correspondent then told the story of one former detainee, a Canadian born in Syria who was arrested at JFK airport and flown by Americans to Syria for questioning. Interesting but not fresh: Three weeks earlier, The New Yorker of Feb. 14 ran a 9,000-word article called “Outsourcing Torture.” The first 600 words were about the Canadian.

“And the chairman of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greenspan, made news today when he told an advisory panel in Washington that replacing the income tax with a new consumption tax, like a national sales tax, would help the U.S. economy.” (“NBC Nightly News,” March 3, 2005.) Everyone in a newscast made news — whatever that means. So let’s ditch the cliché and go straight to the news: “Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan said today that replacing…”

“On Wall Street today, stocks were slightly lower.” (“NBC Nightly News,” Dec. 10, 2004.) Were, like any form of to be, is a linking verb, so it conveys no action. Better: “On Wall Street, stock averages slipped.”

“California drenching. A violent storm system on the West Coast tonight brings more damage and misery.” (“NBC Nightly News,” Feb. 22, 2005.) California wasn’t drenching. California was being drenched. And the storm didn’t bring damage; it caused damage.

“There is word tonight of a late development at the Pentagon. Tonight, our correspondent…” (“NBC Nightly News,” Jan. 6, 2005.) Many, if not most, major stories have new developments every day, sometimes every hour. The best way to approach a story with a new development is to present the development as news, not waste time with any preliminaries. Tonight, tonight? I heard you the first time.

“In Colorado tonight, the University of Colorado’s president, Elizabeth Hoffman, announced today she is stepping down…” (“NBC Nightly News, March 7, 2005.) Tonight, today?  Inspired by Cole Porter?

“Right up until tonight, it had recently been so peaceful in the Middle East between Israel and the Palestinians. In fact, all of the talk was of a new era of cooperation. That was right up until word arrived late tonight of a suicide bombing. It happened in a popular area of bars and nightclubs near the beach in Tel Aviv. There are dozens of casualties. And tonight all eyes [all eyes?] are on two things: the death toll and what effect this will have on what was the beginning of a new era. We begin here tonight with NBC’s…” (“NBC Nightly News,” Feb. 25, 2005.) We begin here? He began that script 92 words earlier. And said right up until twice. New era twice. And tonight four times. But it takes only one word to describe that script: unsatisfactory.

Late tonight? The newscast was at 6:30 p.m.; the bombing occurred around 11:30 p.m., Tel Aviv time –4:30 p.m., EST. That’s hardly tonight, let alone late tonight. (The AP and Reuters moved bulletins before 5 p.m., EST.) A correspondent also used late tonight improperly on the 6:30 p.m. newscast on March 15, and a substitute anchor did so on March 21.

But the news about those lame scripts is good: the writers have an opportunity to learn.

Mervin Block, a newswriting coach, is the author of “Writing Broadcast News — Shorter, Sharper Stronger.” His tips and articles are at http://www.mervinblock.com. You can reach him (or sign up for his free tips list) at merblo@aol.com.