She wanted, essentially, to know about when her role as journalist ends and when she could be a friend.
Her question came at the tail end of a recent session on ethics I conducted at the National Association of Hispanic Journalists convention. It resonated with others in the small audience. That’s likely because we’ve all probably been there.
I did a particularly poor job in helping the woman with her question, so let me try again here.
First, your gut is probably right. If you’re getting a queasy feeling about lunching, dining or having coffee with someone you’ve met on the job, there’s probably a reason.She didn’t offer details. But the gist, as I understood it, was that this other person was, or could be, a source. And the relationship was, or had, changed.
But let’s take it a step further. No, she didn’t go that step. And it isn’t likely that this is her case. But let’s say romance is in the air.
We know that the industry is full of people who have married other journalists. I joke that this happens because no one else likes us. I say this, however, outside of earshot of my wife, also a journalist. (Honest, honey. It was love at first sight). But I’m betting that the number of journalists who first met their non-journalist spouses on the job is higher than anyone imagines.
Does this mean we are, therefore, bereft of ethics when it comes to our source relationships?
Hardly. Potential conflicts of interest exist, certainly. But a few simple guidelines can help us steer clear of these.
First, your gut is probably right. If you’re getting a queasy feeling about lunching, dining or having coffee with someone you’ve met on the job, there’s probably a reason. Go back to how you first met this person.
Did you want something? Did you get it? Will you want something job-related from this person in the future? Did, or will, this person want something from you? Will there be a continuing job-related relationship with this person, perhaps because he/she is integral to your beat or position?
If you answered “yes,” this person is a source. And your queasiness likely stems from a question we need to ask ourselves when doing any of our journalistic tasks. Is what I am doing something I wouldn’t mind my supervisors, colleagues or the general public knowing about?
If your answer is that you wouldn’t want them to know, don’t do it.
But let’s say that this relationship started as source development. And that it is moving on inexorably to other things. In other words, you’ve expensed the lunches, or coffee chats, at which mostly business was discussed. (You are expensing these, or have reciprocated paying the check, to avoid obligation, right?) But the last get-together featured mostly a non-job-related conversation. And it’s clear that a friendship is developing.
I’m always a journalist, except when I’m not. And you’ll know when that is, and this is how you’ll know.Can this person still be a source?
Sure, sorta-kinda and with caveats and cautions.
If this person is now officially a “friend,” stop expensing those meals and coffees. But here’s where it gets tricky. And it’s why such situations should be avoided altogether. Are things told in friendship fair game for stories? Are you a journalist first, or a friend first?
The purist, keeper-of-the-journalism flame part of me wants to simply dispense with this question with: “Are you crazy? Of course you’re a journalist first. You’re always a journalist.”
But relationships are more complex than that. There are ethics involved in friendships as much as there are in the exercise of professions.
So, the truth is that both people in such a relationship should just lay their cards on the table. Get the ground rules straight. I’m always paying. I’m always a journalist, except when I’m not. And you’ll know when that is, and this is how you’ll know. Or some variation of this theme, tailored to your particular friendship, and tailored also, more importantly, to this person’s propensity to be a continuing and important source.
What we’re trying to avoid here is any misunderstanding that will sour either a business relationship or a friendship. But both of you should be on the same page about whether it is one or the other.
If it is friendship (as opposed to just a source relationship with someone who is friendly), you’ve just taken on some obligations, some to the relationship and others to your supervisors and profession. Your bosses deserve to know if a continuing source is a friend.
If this continuing source is a very good friend, maybe you shouldn’t even be on the beat. That’s because there will at least be the appearance that you can no longer be objective.
Now, I’m differentiating between those source relationships in which conversations include casual inquiries on how the spouse and kids are doing, and those relationships in which your families are suddenly going to dinner and summer vacation together a lot. If the latter is occurring, get off that beat.
This doesn’t mean that this person still can’t be a source of tips. But it will be with you as a conduit rather than as a writer. As in, “Hey, Judy, John told me this. Maybe you should follow up.” But again, how is John going to feel about you telling Judy this? Remember, ground rules.
Now down to brass tacks. If you’re sleeping with a continuing source who is integral to your beat, you’ve got a whole slew of different ethical problems. If you’re doing this and you’re still on the beat, I’m not sure you should be in the profession, though absolutes are hard to lay out here.
So, that’s my renewed try at helping the woman answer her question from the ethics session.
It is important that journalists have non-journalist friends. It is, in fact, necessary. This aids us in avoiding tunnel vision and circling the wagons in knee-jerk fashion every time we’re criticized. Without such friends we risk being as disengaged from our communities and “real life” as our critics say we are.
In fact, some of my best friends are non-journalists. But they’re generally not sources. If they give me a useful tip now and then, they know exactly what they’re doing because they know exactly who I am.
So, generally I’d say, be friendly with sources but avoid being friends with sources. If you are tempted with being really friendly, take a cold shower, or write a weather story.
