Dear Readers:
OK, so Dr. Ink lied. In a recent column, he swore he was not going to see the new Bond flick, but his beloved wife Inka wore him down. And whatever Inka wants, Inka gets. Resistance was futile. He also went to see the new Harry Potter movie, so he offers this comparison: Harry Potter is more plausible.
You see, Harry’s car merely flies. Bond’s car, his 20th issued by Q, turns invisible. When this happened, Dr. Ink let slip a naughty one in the theater: “Give me a —— break.”
Perhaps Dumbledore loaned Q an invisibility cloak, or maybe Frodo Baggins loaned Q his ring. In any case, the new Bond is so filled with incredible gimmicks, ridiculous disguises, and preternatural stunts, that the powers of Hermione Granger look downright earthy in comparison. Perhaps, one day, the worlds of Fleming and Rowling will collide, and Bond can take out a grown-up Draco Malfoy. (In fact, didn’t Bond take out a Draco in “Moonraker”?)
The new Bond has its moments: a creamy Bond beauty named Frost; a hip and frisky Halle Berry as Jinx (although displayed more modestly than in “Swordfish”); and a hilarious new Q, played by John Cleese. This also registers as the first post-modern Bond, a kind of 20th anniversary special with all kinds of allusions to the previous Bond oeuvre.
But the hyper-realism of Ian Fleming’s early work, captured in the first four Bond movies, is an ancient memory, a golden age now expired. So if Dr. Ink were pressed to make a recommendation, let’s just say that he’s quite taken with Harry, but not stirred by Bond.
