By:
March 17, 2003

Dear Readers:


Dr. Ink recalls a story in the St. Pete Times from long ago in which Jimmy Carter was quoted as saying that if Teddy Kennedy ran against him, “I’ll whip his a–.”


That may be the first time Doc noticed those pesky serial hyphens in a newspaper. Back in the day, those little marks were not meant to censor language, but rather to get blue language in the paper without fomenting witch hunts from the bluenoses out there.


The usage, as Doc recalls, led to a funny debate among the smart a– reporters in the room as to what President Carter really said.  Perhaps it was, “I’ll whip his arm!” or “I’ll whip his ape!”


Dr. Ink has now seen all the nasty words in the language hyphened out in newspapers, including his favorite, motherhyphens. He has also seen spirited sports writers, such as the brilliant Bill Conlin of the Philadelphia Daily News, try to write around the hyphens with coinages such as “motor chucker”or “cork socker.”


But it took a trip to the frigid northland of Ontario for Doc to find the ultimate example of wrapping Saran around the torso of the journalistic stripper.  A story in the Toronto Star once quoted a source as describing a time when “the s— hit the fan.”


Take a look at that clause, Inklings, and have a good laugh. In case you missed it, look at the first three letters that come after the hyphens. Now link them to the letter ‘s.’


Doc also thinks he has seen such pointless veiling of obscenities as ass—-. Or a—hole.


Here’s the bottom line, readers, or should Doc say b—– l—.  It’s time to ditch the little hyphens. If a word is worth using, however offensive, let it stand. If not, describe or paraphrase or euphemize.


[ What’s the most surprising obscenity to make it into your publication? ]

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