Oil and water. That’s what I think of when I hear stories of colleagues who don’t get along.
That was a subject at a recent seminar for editors and aspiring editors who wanted to do well in their newsrooms. They were stumped, though, by an inability to establish an effective work relationship with individuals who were important in their day-to-day routines.
Newsrooms can be hard on relationships, whether you need to build them or repair them. People are busy. Deadlines now exist around the clock in a lot of newsrooms. Time to finesse relationships can be hard to find.
We’ve all seen people who collide awkwardly day to day, lessening their individual effectiveness. Think about whether you are in such a situation. Is there someone you don’t: greet as warmly, turn to when you need something, invite to lunch, or whom you dread working for if that individual ever became your boss?
If you answered yes to these questions, then consider what to do to improve the situation.
What’s missing that you have in other effective work relationships? Most likely, bedrock assets are weak: trust, honesty, open communication, and respect for the other’s views.
In the reality of the workplace, we celebrate diversity of backgrounds, talents, and experiences, and yet we talk little about the challenge of building relationships across all kinds of differences that exist in personalities, style, and methods of work.
Poynter’s Keith Woods, who has led countless diversity discussions at the Institute and around the country, offers guidance for “Talking Across Differences.”
Here’s Keith’s advice:
- Be Honest. Recognize that people have different filters through which they sort what you are saying and doing. So it’s important to be clear and honest.
- Seek Clarification. If you’re unclear about what someone is saying, ask questions before reacting.
- Challenge With Passion. Keep the conversation going, even when you hit bumps. It will demonstrate your commitment to understanding the other person’s perspective.
- Be Willing to Change Your Point of View. Truly consider the other’s way of seeing things. You may not change your perspective, but make sure that remains possible.
- Stay in the Room. Regardless of how tough the conversation gets, stay at it.
At the recent seminar, one young editor talked about the difficulty he had getting reliable information from a veteran assignment editor. The situation makes him vulnerable because he can’t count on stories for the weekly paper he oversees. He took the situation to his boss, who basically left it in his lap to fix. He could have benefited from the boss’s coaching. But since his boss wasn’t taking charge of the situation, why should he? More importantly, why should you?
There are many good reasons:
- Your boss will respect you for addressing a thorny problem.
- The people you work with will admire your actions.
- The news operation deserves the best from everyone.
- You will have a sense of accomplishment and relief once you don’t have to work around the bad situation.
- You may find this person to be a valued colleague.
And ultimately, relationships are in the hands of the individuals involved. No one can dictate a better relationship for you and someone else. Only you can make the necessary changes.
To help focus seminar participants on these dilemmas, we ask four questions:
- What’s the problem in the relationship?
- How do you see the other person, based on the interactions you have?
- How does this person seem to view you?
- What would you like the relationship to be?
They then receive this handout to guide them as they build more effective work relationships, including planning for a discussion, guiding it successfully, and following it up with continuing efforts. Check it out and let us know if it helps you.
