Prize Envy

It’s that time of year; my favorite. Prize-envy time.

Some contests have already announced. Coming up are the Pulitzers, of course.

Once, I was ensconced with colleagues at a retreat and word or rumor was dribbling out on alleged finalists. Which, of course, prompted another kind of envy. Source envy.

Listen, I’m certain all you winners this year are sooooo verrrrry deserving. But reading of the journalistic derring-do of winners already announced, the feelings of inadequacy are already welling up.

I mean, who can’t help but be disheartened by the masterful word-smithing of just a few of the recent ASNE winners and the judges’ distressing comments.

There’s M.J. Wilde, winner for Commentary/Column Writing at The Albuquerque Tribune. “Her outlook keeps life in perspective,” the judges wrote, just rubbing my nose in it. She writes with a sense of humor, the judges also said.

David Barham, of The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette in Little Rock, won for Editorial Writing. “He blends imagination” into his writing, the judges said, salt in the wound.

Sense of humor? Imagination? And, don’t think I didn’t notice that Barham, in his editorials, actually got out of the office.

What’s that about? Just what miracles do these so-called “judges” expect? This is why the company buys phones, right?  What good is an ivory tower if you’re never there? And where in the heck is my category? Missed-deadline hack writing?

Yes, I’m jealous and am not ashamed to say so. In fact, I dare say that I’m just saying out loud what the rest of you are thinking when that journalist in your shop, champagne bottles at the ready, waits by the phone, surrounded by admiring colleagues, for that Pulitzer call.

I’m happy for you.

Yeah, right. You couldn’t even buy me a drink with the prize money last year?

But I’m not bitter. Not at all.

As I stand around as we await the Pulitzer call, congratulatory smile pasted on my face, one thought keeps running through my head. “Man, I knew I should have included that piece on infrastructure improvements in which I used that perfect editorial-writer transition: ‘To be sure.’ Not to mention, the clever use of the editorial ‘oui’ in that piece on those ingrates, the French.”

And there was that other piece on the heartbreak of halitosis in my collection of ‘up to 10’ submissions. It, too, should have gone in.

OK, maybe the nomination letter I wrote — I mean my boss wrote — was a bit over the top. Maybe the judges really aren’t impressed by readers canceling their subscriptions.

Where in the heck is my category? Missed-deadline hack writing?Yeah, well what do they know?

And this year it will be the same damn thing. I just know it.

Here at The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, staff writer John Schmid produced a masterful package on how the loss of manufacturing jobs has left our inner city grappling with tsunami-size depression from which it is having trouble emerging. It dripped with authoritative writing, real people, expertise, solutions and pathos.

God, John, how I hate you.

Uh, seriously, John, they were great pieces, expertly reported and wonderfully written. You deserve to win many awards this year. But tell me this boy-o, where were the “to-be-sure’s”? Yeah, great writing and reporting are something I guess but give me a hackneyed transition any day. I detected no fuzzing up. No, “yes, but”s. I know the judges are saying the same darn thing. (Hint: I couldn’t find the word “infrastructure” either).

Yes, I know, life isn’t fair. If it were that major series we ran on guns and gun control at one of my former newspapers awhile back in my managing editor days we wouldn’t have come up with nada/zilch in those contests we entered. OK, so we launched it on Mother’s Day. Sorry. It just couldn’t wait. Next time I’ll know to wait for Father’s Day.

I really shouldn’t allow myself to slip into my annual funk of prize envy.

This year, I could read the winners’ work to learn what champions are made of. I could examine every paragraph, every quote and topic, analyze the organization and read the judges’ words for those nuances that will tip me off to how I might actually improve my craft. I could simply be magnanimous and congratulate all the deserving winners. Maybe, just maybe, I could even learn something from them. I might even start paying attention to Roy Peter Clark, who does seem to have a way with words.

I could.

Nah. To be sure.

Editor’s Note: The Poynter Institute works with ASNE to host the annual contest judging and also publishes “Best Newspaper Writing,” a book that includes a selection of entries and interviews with the winning writers.