Kissin’ Cuzzins Country Candy store, where I worked in high school, was across the street from the Riverside Theater in downtown Milwaukee. Customers who stopped in for our sweet specialties and fun atmosphere (our motto: “Our licorice is made from the finest overshoes and inner tubes”) were often buying treats to take along to the movies.
Sometimes, theater-bound shoppers came in alone. I remember feeling so sorry for them. I assumed they were lonely. I assumed they longed for someone to share the film experience with them but had no one. They’d leave. I’d sigh.
Now I realize I was wasting my breath. My assumptions were probably wrong. Why? Because I was thinking like the extrovert I am.
Extroverts get their energy from the outer world of connecting with people. They think by talking. At the end of a long day of talking at work, they want to go home and talk about it. Even the quiet experience of movie watching is, for extroverts, enhanced by the presence of another person, someone with whom they can engage during and after the show.
That’s why I couldn’t imagine anyone choosing to take in a flick alone and truly enjoying it.
But introverts can, and do. Introverts get their energy from the life of the mind. They like to think — and process ideas — before they talk. They are comfortable with silence. At the end of a long day of talking at work, they value quiet time to recharge their batteries. While they have deep, meaningful conversations with friends and loved ones, they are comfortable and even energized when they are quiet. They may even feel sorry for people who couldn’t enjoy a movie without an escort — how limiting!
I know all this because 30-plus years after Kissin’ Cuzzins, after decades of duty as a newsroom manager, I joined the Poynter faculty and took a qualification course for the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. I use the MBTI in my leadership teaching to help managers understand the variety of personality preferences that exist among folks, and how to put that diversity to work.
I also want to keep managers from assuming, as I did, that their own preferences are the norm. That’s critically important because many managers try to hire in their own image and may miss out on some terrific people. They may also mismanage the personalities on their team.
Bosses who are extroverts may harbor some negative and unfair assumptions about introverts, who, by the way, make up about half of the population in the United States. So, here’s what great bosses, whatever their personality type, should know about introverts:
- Introverts may not be the first to speak in a meeting because they are listening carefully and formulating their ideas. They’ll speak when they have something of value to say or want to pull together the many voices and thoughts in the room.
- Introverts can get weary in meetings when the extroverts do what extroverts do: think out loud, repeat themselves, repeat what others say, and extend the event with their conversations.
- Introverts appreciate a “heads up” about upcoming meeting agendas or conversation topics. It gives them time to reflect before speaking.
- Introverts may be less inclined to “work a room,” may prefer short e-mail exchanges to face-to-face chats, and need to know when that preference impedes communication or collaboration.
- Introverts are more likely than extroverts to be good listeners. Listening is an essential skill that can give introverts an advantage in many aspects of work and life.
Bosses should also know that being an introvert does NOT automatically mean that:
- The person is shy.
- The person lacks confidence.
- The person doesn’t want to be a team player.
- The person is unfriendly or intentionally inscrutable.
- The person isn’t having good time because he or she is quiet.
It’s also important to understand that introverts are quite capable of leading meetings, giving great presentations, and speaking at length about subjects that are important to them. When I conduct leadership training for TV news anchors, about a quarter of these on-air performers are introverts, according to their MBTI results. They do just fine in the spotlight; but they, like other introverts, prefer quiet time afterward because it replenishes their energy.
If you’re an introvert, none of this comes as a surprise to you, and you may be asking why I haven’t written about understanding extroverts, too. (Stand by; I will in my next column.) Meanwhile, go see a movie. I promise not to worry if you go alone.
I’ve built a top ten list of things to know about introverts for today’s three-minute podcast, “What Great Bosses Know about Introverts.” Care to add any?
Poynter’s “What Great Bosses Know” podcast is sponsored by The City University of New York Graduate School of Journalism. Poynter’s leadership and management expert Jill Geisler shares practical information that’s valuable for bosses in newsrooms and everywhere.
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