When I first became a manager, I thought bosses were in the business of providing answers. I assumed answers were the way to solve problems, resolve disputes, guide staff and get things done.
- Why did I think that? I assumed answers show what you know; that they validate leadership.
- Why was that important to me? Well, as a new boss, I felt the need to prove myself.
- What was it like to operate that way? Powerful when I had the answers, stressful when I didn’t, painful when I discovered how ignorant I was about the power of questions.
- Why are questions powerful? They open doors to ideas and options, and best of all, they encourage people to discover their own answers.
- What’s so valuable about people discovering their own answers? People like their own ideas best. They feel smarter, less dependent on and directed by others. They’re more committed to making the ideas succeed because they gave birth to them. The boss was just the midwife.
Let’s dig deeper into the power of questions and why they can do so much more for you and your team than your answers alone.
Often, when people come to you with a problem, they define the situation in narrow terms. It’s what human beings do. I like the way the authors of the very good book “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most” explain the phenomenon:
I see this play out time and again when I coach managers. They present situations with a combination of facts and personal perceptions.
For example, a manager tells me about an employee who is doing sloppy work, then adds, “I should point out that he applied for the same management job I did. I think he’s still mad that I’m the one who got it.”
Now, if I were the “answer” person, I might respond: “Well, it’s time for him to get over it and focus on performance. Here’s what you should do.” Or “You don’t necessarily know he’s still angry or that it’s connected to his performance. This is how I would handle it if I were you…”
But as a coach, I respond with — you guessed it — questions. The conversation plays out like this:
Manager: Eight months ago.
Coach: What makes you think he’s angry about it now?
Manager: He told someone he didn’t like it and they told me.
Coach: When was that?
Manager: Right after my promotion.
Coach: And when you talked with him about it, what did he say?
Manager: I’ve never discussed it with him. I didn’t want to make an issue of it.
Coach: So you’ve avoided that conversation, but you’re thinking it’s driving his current performance. How often do you talk with him about performance in general?
Manager: Probably less than I should. It’s just been awkward. I see where you’re going here.
Coach: What are you thinking?
Manager: Maybe I’ve kept too big a distance and haven’t given him feedback.
Coach: What steps could you take now? What specific behaviors do you want him to change?
Manager: I could talk to him about what he needs to focus on. Go over the recent errors he’s made, find out why they happened and set a plan with him to keep them from happening again.
Coach: By the way, what does he do well?
Manager: He’s actually really talented. I always liked working with him because of his creativity and ability to solve problems.
Coach: So, if he were applying for his job today, would you hire him?
Manager: Yes, he’s valuable to us. I just want him to deal with the string of errors he’s made recently. I’ll set up a meeting with him.
Keep in mind that coaches don’t shy away from offering ideas, advice and resources. But they do so after asking good questions and helping others discover answers for themselves.
In this sample case, I’d give tips on how to make sure a tough conversation starts and ends well. And I’d tell the manager how common it is for managers promoted over others to let it haunt them — needlessly — and how newly-promoted managers, especially young ones, grapple with insecurity.
But it isn’t to show how much I know. It’s to reinforce the wisdom they’ve demonstrated in response to a coach’s questions.
Great bosses know that when it comes to Q & A — they should get off their “A’s” and improve their “Q’s.”
If you want to improve your “Q’s” — what are some effective questions? Also: How can questions backfire? Find out in today’s podcast: “What Great Bosses Know about the Power of Questions.”
Poynter’s “What Great Bosses Know” podcast is sponsored by The City University of New York Graduate School of Journalism. Poynter’s leadership and management expert Jill Geisler shares practical information on leadership and management that’s valuable for bosses in newsrooms and all walks of life.
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